All these ‘humans are weird’ posts seem to talk about how difficult humans would be to work with— but what we’re actually one of the easiest species to work with?
Sure, we have that weird ‘relationship’ with local fluffy predators that nobody wants to talk to much about, and when scared (or happy, or excited) we scream at a frequency that bursts other species’ eardrums, and sometimes we do this thing called ‘brushing hair’ which involves using a spiked tool to rip out most of our head hair in an effort to make what’s left lie flat— but we’re just so well prepared!
Other species spend generations trying to figure each other out, but for humans there’s a guidebook… written by a human. Several decades before humans actually made contact with other species.
Yeah. Sometimes this preparedness can make us seem a bit like the kind of creep who spends the whole first date talking about the wedding, but even while they’re weirded out by it, nobody can deny how useful it is.
For instance, every species goes through a phase of hating what they see as ‘alien invaders’— the difference is that humans pretty much got past that stage almost before they’d discovered space travel. By the time we make contact, we’d already made the groundbreaking works of fiction that suggested that other species weren’t all that bad. The leap from first contact to working with other species, which for most species took generations, was incredibly short for us.
What’s more we’d, bizarrely, already prepared for species that hadn’t been discovered yet. When UP (United Planets, a human idea that had caught on. Other species were amazed that such a thing had been achieved, humans seemed a bit surprised that there hadn’t been one already) made contact with the first known sapient reptillian species, it was the humans who set to work redesigning the heating controls to mimic the climate of that planet. Hell, before other species— who weren’t sure it was going to be that easy— stopped them, they were about to go through with plans to put a hatchery on every ship.
All this ‘humans are space orcs’ stuff is what makes humans so easy to integrate into the galactic community.
Actually when you put it this way its not so much ‘humans are space orcs’ is more ‘humans are the space moms’ like how a mom has a toy, a sweater in case their kid gets cold, small snacks for long trips, a travel planner, a grocery list. Honestly I could see human caretakes being in high demand. Sure we have only two limbs that can effectively grab things (or consider aliens lose their shit when a human uses their foot to grab a piece of cloth) but our multitasking AND preparedness? Super guardians. Worse (or better) if that alien species is smol and seemingly defenseless.
“Herlok don’t forget your temperature regulator.”
“Human-Susan my kind are what your species has called ‘cold blooded’ and need our regulators to survive in any new environment. What kind of gorsnic would forget it?”
“Well it’s always good to double check no one left theirs on the ship, so do you have yours?”
“… No.”
humans are space_____
Aliens being Momd by actual moms
not jsut any moms, but white, middle aged, suburban soccer moms
Someone needs to turn this into a full blown story! Like what if human females are suddenly disappearing and later they find out it’s because human females are considered ultimate caretakers and were being put in high demand by other alien species…