“Where is the most inappropriate place you ever fooled around?”
(my original video clip was 6 minutes so I had to cut it down, but you can/should see the whole thing on this podcast)
[Audio Transcription–
Miles: Where is the most inappropriate place you ever fooled around?
Blaine: (sigh) Aside from a school?
Chris: I’ve…UT library
Miles: (chanting) church, church, church–UT library? What’d you do in the UT library?
Chris: Had sex.
Miles: WHAT?! WHERE?! How quiet were you? Was she–was she like, (moans), and you heard, “Ssshhh!”
Chris: No, it–uh, we just like–
Miles: I’m so proud of you. Oh man, Chris. I didn’t know you had it in you. And then she had it in her. (laughter)
Miles: I don’t think I talked about this before. I, uh, fuck my parents are watching this. I, uh–
Chris: Really?
Miles: Yeah
Blaine: My parents watch mine too.
Chris: My parents don’t know how to use the internet.
Miles: I got head to Chicken Little.
Chris: What?
Miles: (laughter) I was dating a girl in high school and we needed a place to go fool around. So we got–we bought tickets to an 1130pm screening of Chicken Little.
Chris: (laughter) Wait, AM?
Miles & Barbara: PM.
Chris: PM!
Miles: Because we were like “surely no one’s going to be watching Chicken Little at 1130pm.”
Chris: Until a little child walks in.
Blaine: (scream)
Miles: No, no, no it wasn’t children! It wasn’t children. It was an elderly couple. There was one elderly couple near like the front of the theater. We were in the very back and she started like undoing my belt and I was like, “We can’t, the old people.” And she was like, “They can’t hear.”
Chris: (laughter)
Miles: Man, that was–that was a low point. I can’t watch that movie.
Blaine: I got head at a drive-in movie theater watching Jack and Jill, the Adam Sandler movie.
Miles & Chris & Barbara: (laughter)
Blaine: It was the fucking worst. I couldn’t even enjoy it because the movie was so bad.
Miles: Awww, I wish her name was Jill so then she could be “Jackin’ Jill”
Chris: (laughter)
Barbara: This is when I was dating my boyfriend in high school. We were guests at his cousin’s wedding.
Miles: (gasps)
Barbara: And…
Miles: (laughter)
Barbara: I feel so bad for telling this story. His cousin asked him to go put something away in the bridal suite for him and I went with him. And uh, we had sex in the bridal suite of someone else’s wedding.
Chris: What?!
Miles: Hey–
Barbara: We christened their bridal suite. (laughter)
Miles: Barbara, here’s to you Babs. You fucking win.
Chris: That’s so–
Miles: So awesome, I know! Holy shit!
Chris: That–
Barbara: It was bad.
Chris: That’s bad, Barbara.
Miles: No! That’s incredible!
Chris: No, no, no, no, no–
Miles: No, you shut the fuck up. That’s the coolest fucking shit I ever heard. You’re thug as fuck!
Blaine: That’s pretty gangster, yeah.
Miles & Barbara: (laughter)
Chris: Wait, did you use their bed?
Miles: Dude, were you like, “here comes the bride!”
All: (laughter)
Miles: Holy shit, I’m getting another drink.
Barbara: Yeah, we had to remake the bed.
Miles: Oh, God.
Chris: You should’ve–
Barbara: We didn’t take the covers off or anything but if you move around enough.
Miles: Yeah, they’re not monsters, Chris. ]
Published
Brie 