I had a dream last night that I was out just living my life at 2 am as you do and I walked into a vampire-slayer debacle and a vampire mistook me for a slayer but the slayers killed him and then they assumed I was that slayer bc of what he said so they took me back to their idk??? Base??? And they started planning for some big mission and it got to the point that I was afraid that if they found me out I’d know too much and they’d kill me so I kept trying to o with it like
I was trying to change my shirt and I got stuck in the sleeve and I was just in the bathroom trying not to panic I was like “you can’t ask one of the slayers to help you out of your sleeve….you’re going to have to get through this yourself”
ANYWAY we finally met up with the dude I guess was integral to the plan and it was my friend and he was apparently a TIME traveler all this time who ran errands for vampires and he was paying for our protection while he……procured a century’s stockpile of oatmeal for a client.
So I pulled him aside and I was like “we’ve been friends a long time and Im in a bad spot. Level with me here what’s the real story”
And he was like “no that’s really it. Vampires are extremely petty. If my client’s political rivals catch me gathering oatmeal for him they’ll kill me just so he can’t have the oatmeal.”
And I was like ok. Ok at this point that adds up.
My main takeaway from this is that vampires like oatmeal
YEAH UH I asked about that since presumably the vampire wouldn’t be eating it and my friend said “he likes the texture” and I thought I’d leave it there
There is a pun in Portuguese that goes “what is a vampire’s favorite cereal? Oats” because oats in Portuguese is “aveia”, which sounds like “a veia” (the vein). Your dream brain made a multilingual joke at you.
Thank you for giving me this much credit but the truth is I’m just a dumbass by birth and I was thinking about going out for some oatmeal today
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Brie 