TAZ Arcs as John Mulaney Quotes

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Here There Be Gerblins: This might as well happen. Adult life is already so God damn weird.

Murder on the Rockport Limited: “I’ll tell you what we’ll do! We’ll draw chalk around the body is. That way we’ll know where it was…”

Petals to the Metal: “I hear you honking and I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing. I don’t like that I’m in that lane either, and I sure would like to get out of it!”

The Crystal Kingdom: “Is it an “E” or is it a “3”? That’s up to ye. The passwords of past you’ve correctly guessed, but now it’s time for the robot test!”

The Eleventh Hour: “All right, well, what do they do with the time machine?” “Well, now I’m embarrassed to say.“

The Suffering Game: And I go: “Why are you doing this to me?” and they go: “Because we’re Delta Airlines and life is a fucking nightmare!”

The Stolen Century: “All right, there’s a Norwegian Cruise Line leaving for Martinique. Here’s my plan: you and me get very dressed up, including hats, and then we wave handkerchiefs at it until it disappears over the horizon.”

Story and Song: You’re a 22-year-old temp, and you’re so hungover, and you just wanna die every day. And then that happens in front of you, and I don’t know, gives you hope?