nutheadgee:

parttimepup:

parttimepup:

Do you ever think about how sperm don’t work right at body temperature and that’s why males have external testicles? Design-wise that is such a huge risk to take. Your most important organ is swinging free outside your body, vulnerable to injury or attack. All because one (1) type of cell, your fucking gametes for christ’s sake, cannot function at the normal body temperature of the organism they belong to. What the fuck. I never want to hear a man try and say females are biologically inferior ever again.

While I’m at it also they have to share one hole that they both pee and have sex out of. That’s fucking gross and unsanitary. Everytime a man cums in you you’re also getting all the pee that was in his urethra enjoy that thought ladies. You know how many holes birds have? One. They pee, poop and have sex all in the same hole it’s called the cloaca. You know how many holes women have? Three. Because we evolved one. Evolution-wise, men fall somewhere between a chicken and a human female. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Evolution-wise, men fall somewhere between a chicken and a human female

Is just about the most legendary sentence I have ever read in my life in any language..

vmohlere:

tigerliliesandcherryblossoms:

tetsuskitten:

infinityonthot:

fangoddess817:

endreams-s:

writing-prompt-s:

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

A++ addition

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

I LOVE THIS

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

tender-vittles:

stannissucks:

jackthevulture:

gooseweasel:

jackthevulture:

So i live in a very pro Philadelphia sports teams family and area and the Flyers (hockey) just got a new mascot and oh my god

It’s even more horrifying in motion, tbh

Like I know I’m a Pens fan and therefore slightly biased but good god that thing is the stuff of nightmares.

Listen I dont watch hockey but this is the best thing to happen to me all week. This thing is so threatening.

I live in Pittsburgh and let me say……..I would die for Gritty 

I’m not saying Cult of Gritty but…… CULT OF GRITTY

@jakfrost you too hahahah