I had a look around Gay’s The Word today, which I’ve read is, sadly, the only surviving LGBTQIA+ bookshop in the UK. It was great being around so many fiction and non-fiction queer books all in one place and I discovered so many I want to read! And it didn’t just have gay, lesbian and bi reads, but also sections for other sexualties like asexuality and ace 🏳️🌈
Freshmen college housing is so chaotic because it’s really the only situation I can think of where a person who gives so little shit about anyone else that they’d have sex with someone while someone else is trying to sleep five feet away, and a person who is so painfully shy that’d they wouldn’t be able to even speak up about it so they’d just let it happen
life on the internet gets a lot better when you realize you dont owe random weirdos your time or energy
mean or baiting anon message? delete it. someone leaves an annoying comment on one of your posts? block em. you see a post that says something you dont like? ignore it.
you have absolutely no obligation to anyone on this website. dont forget that
What is aftercare: Aftercare is a form of providing comfort for your significant other, usually one who takes on the role of a submissive. It causes them to feel safe, and secure. It is a way to reduce the chance of Subdrop. Aftercare is common in the BDSM scene due to the intensity of the scenes or actions that take place. BUT it is also extremely important in the CGL community as well.
Using Aftercare after a punishment has been done is really important. It shows that while you had to punish them, you still love them! You still care about them and their needs and how they are feeling.
It is also important to know that aftercare is needed by dominants as well, this is not something that is for subs only. Be aware of how your partner is doing before and after a scene or relationship experience. It’s important to be aware of these things to avoid a potential relationship damaging experience.
If you ignore subdrop or the needs of your partner, it is possible for them to lose interest. They will become distant. They lose their trust in you. They will begin to find less enjoyment in entering a scene or aspects of the relationship dynamic with you.
Examples of Aftercare:
Snuggling
Drawing them a bubble bath
Cuddles and a movie
Gentle caressing
Just holding your partner
Giving them a bath
A massage
Using soothing lotions on bruises/marks
A short nap with your partner
Petting/soothing with words. (i.e. good girl/good boy/ you did so well)
Giving a treat (warm milk/tea/some goldfish, etc)
Brushing their hair
Watching a movie of your partner’s choice
Reading a book to them
Kissing their marks/bruises/wounds
Letting them know they’re safe
Wrapping them in their favorite blanket with their favorite stuffed animal
Ensuring their comfort item is within reach
Treating any potential injuries/wounds
Having a deep conversation/heart to heart
Reading them a story
Preparing a meal for you and them, ensuring they eat and hydrate
Answering questions they ask -remaining calm during it.
Ask how they are feeling and checking often
Validate them
Be emotionally available and understanding
For more information about aftercare check out these following links:
